Nice Funny Quote

To solve the human equation, we need to add love, subtract hate, multiply
good, and divide between truth and error.
_Janet Coleman_
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right,
there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
_Andy Rooney_
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
_George Carlin_
If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
-- Paul Beatty
In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.
_Joey Adams_

Joke and Funny Quotes ,That will make you Laugh

What is the difference between Monkey & Donkey ? Monkey saves this message& Donkey deletes this message. Choice is urs..:P

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Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen and he is eating the cake I made. Banta: Whom should I call now, Police or Ambulance?

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A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her. Girl: `STUPID what r u doing?` Sardar: B.Com final year.

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What? is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so dear,? A car is too dear and A monkey is U dear.

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Q: What is the difference b/w secretary & private secretary? Ans:Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR& Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR.

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The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up and does not stop until u get into the office...

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Question by a student! If a single teacher can`t teach us all the subjects, Then How could U expect a single student to learn all subjects?

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Air and Students have the same Mentality U know how? Both are turning the books pages without reading

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In an African Safari,A LION suddenly bounced on Santa`s wife. WIFE-Shoot him!Shoot him! SANTA-Yes Yes.I`m changing d battery of my camera.

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Girl:I Like Ur`Teeth`. Boy:Oh Really,Why! Girl:.......Becoz Yellow Is My Favorite Color.

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Birdy birdy in sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I dont worry I don''t cry, Im just happy that cows cant fly

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According to a research 87%of young people have back pain. . . . . . . . .The other 13%have no computer.

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This dog,is dog,a dog,good dog,way dog,to dog,keep dog,an dog,idiot dog,busy dog,for dog,20 dog,seconds dog!..Now read without the word dog

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World`s Smallest resignation letter! Respected sir, I luv your wife.

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A girl says to her boyfriend,One kiss and I`ll be yours forever. The guy says thanks for the warning!

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First the engagement ring,then the wedding ring, then the suffering.

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Teacher:`I killed a person`convert this sentence into future tense. Student:The future tense is`You will go to jail`.

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Lovers r Outgoing Calls, Aunties r Tollfree Calls, Callgirls r Roaming Calls, Neighbour Girls r Missed Calls.

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A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse:-I Love U sister....

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Before marriage: Roses are red,sky is blue, O my darling!I love you... After Marriage: Roses are dead, I have flu, don`t come near me,

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Wife:What is 10 years with me! Husband:A second. Wife:What is $1000 for me! Husband:A coin. Wife:ok give me a coin. Husband:Wait a second.

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Sardar proposed a girl...... Girl said am 1 yr elder to u....... Sardar said Oye no problem soniye I`ll marry u next year.

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Take the first step in FAITH you don`t have to see the whole staircase just take the first step.

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The hours turned to days, days to weeks, and weeks to months. Nothing has changed, I`m still in love and you`re still gone.

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Jokes Quotes

Wife:-I will die. Husband:- I will also die. Wife:-why will you die? Husband:- because I can`t bear that much happiness

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If u r stressed, you`ll get pimples.. if u cry,u`ll get wrinkles.. So, y don`t u smile &get dimples?

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Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:"can kids of our age have kids?"Teacher replied " NO Never" Boy said to girl :"see i told u not to worry

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The most "hungry + sad" moment When you''re sitting in the examination hall,feeling hungry & then the invigilator is served hot"tea with samsas"

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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

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Doctor:Madam, your husband needs rest and pease so here are some sleeping pills.Wife:Doc,when should I give them to him?Doctor:They are fOR YOU

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One million copies of a new book sold In just 2 days due to typing error of 1 alphabet in title."An idea.that can change ur wife"

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What`s the similarity between chewing gum & begum(wife)Both are sweet at the beginning and become tasteless, shapeless and chipku in the eND

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HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle If 1 punctures, the vehicle can`t move further M0ral: always Keep a SPARE TYRE..

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Son: Dad why doesn`t law permit us to have more than one wife? Dad:when you get married son, you`ll realize that law is on our side...

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Life is suffering. Once you learn to accept that life is suffering, life will cease to be suffering.

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What`s D Difference Between Mother`s & GF`s Tears? Classic Answer Mother`s Tears Effect Our HEART & GF`s Tears Effect Our POCKET.

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Do u know the meaning of WIFE? It means...Without Information Fighting Evry time!

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First Guy (proudly): "My wife`s an angel!" Second Guy: "You`re lucky, mine`s still alive." ..:D

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What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ? A -One Woman Brings U into this world crying.. & the other ensures U Continue to do so.

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 Last night was my fault, my wife asked, "what`s on the TV?" and ... I said, "dust!"

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A recently fired stock trader said .. "This is worse than divorce... I have lost everything and I still have my wife..."

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Husband: Today is sun day & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: Why three? Husband: 1 For U and 2 for ur parents.

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Wife: What is so interesting in me? Husband:I dont know the meaning of interesting!!!

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Message of the year:- Women live a better, longer & peaceful life..! Why? Very simple.. A woman does not have a wife..

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santa:i gave a moving performance in singing. banta:what do you mean by moving performance? santa: everyone moved out of theatre

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"now i always watch my wedding video in reverse and i love the end when she takes the ring off, goes out, jumps in the car and hea

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Joke Quotations

A cute boy asks a fallen rose:Don`t u get hurt wen u r plucked?Rose replied:No I forget my pain thinking that i am the reason for someone smile

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Confidence is key, Sometimes, you need to look like you are confident, even when you are not.

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It is said that if you close your eyes, you see the person you love the most. and when i do that, . . Slide Show begins.

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God has Deposited Love,Joy,Prosperity,Peace,Laughter &All Kinds of Blessings in Ur ATM Account Use without Limit.The PIN Code is PRAYER

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You know what COLLEGE means?? C=Come O=On L=Lets L=Love E=Each G=Girl E=Equally So every BOY goes to COLLEGE.

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Girlfriend is Hot Water, Lover is Mineral Water, Wife is Corporation Water, Relationship is Kaveri Water, But"FRIENDSHIP"is pure Rain Water!

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Some Time We Fail to Understand..the Feelings of very Close People in our Life.Because a Book held very Nearer to Eyes is very Difficult to read

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Position of a husband is just like a Split AC... No matter how loud he is outdoor, He is designed to remain silent indoor!

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That awkward moment when you are actually telling the truth but you laugh during it, and everybody thinks you are lying.

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Keep your attitude in your pocket otherwise I will show you what it means actually.

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Husband:can u be the moon of my life?Wife: A www Yes sweetheart..! . . Husband: Great! then... Stay 9,955,887.6 kms away from Me..!!

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Hard fact about youngsters, . . . They are always busy watching the desktop wallpaper.. whenever their parents enter their room`

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Today`s Relationships: You can touch each other, . but . . . . not each others phones..!!

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HUMBLE REQUEST.He has served us Beer when we were Sad&Happy.Now he needs our help.Please save ABC.Pls ADOPT atleast ONE Kingfisher Air hostess

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Lines by School boy.Love is when i walk to other side of classroom to sharp my pencil,Just to See her.N then realize that. Im holding a pen.

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If the path is beautiful, Ask where it leads to.. But if destination Is Beautiful Never mind about the path.. keep walking!!

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Fallen flowers cannot climb back, so do not think about the past, Love the present, live for the future with a beautiful & sweet smile.

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Sometimes When We Say: Im Okay..We want Someone To, Look Into My Eyes..Grab us in his arms..:( HUG Us Tight& Say :I Know You Are Not...!

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Aftr robbing d Bank, robber 2 clerk:Did u see me robbing?Clerk:Yes.Robber shot him dead asked next clerk:Did u?2nd clerk:No,But my wife saw u

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Jokes Quotes

From Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec,From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed.For me, you`ve always been...a headach!

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MBBS Final Exam:-Question: Fill in the blanks.If a lady faints, we must 1st check her PU-S-Only few intelligent students wrote PULSE

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Banta falls in luv wit a nurse.. After much thinking, he finally writes a luv letter 2 her: "I LUV U SISTER"

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If i need "Brain Transplantation"I will prefer your brain...don`t think that you are a genius.... i need a brain which is never use before

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What is a difference between a Kiss,a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.

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Father: How did you fail the final exam? Son: Under water Aather:What do you mean?

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Q: Why dogs don`t marry? A: Bcoz they are already leading a dog`s life!

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A cute boyasks a fallen rose:Don`t u get hurt wen u r plucked?Rose replied:No I forget my pain thinking that i am the reason for someone smile

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Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don''t worry I don`t cry, I`m just happy that cows can`t fly!

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I have lots of jokes in my inbox,But I can`t send you all of them,It will take a lot of time,So I`m sending u just 1 joke"You are so beautiful"

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If u r stressed, you`ll get pimples.. if u cry mu`ll get wrinkles.. So, y don`t u smile & get dimples?

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Confidence is key, Sometimes, you need to look like you are confident, even when you are not.

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It is said that if you close your eyes, you see the person you love the most. and when i do that, . . Slide Show begins.

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God has DepositedLove,Joy,Prosperity,Peace,Laughter &All Kinds of Blessings in Ur ATM Account Use without Limit.The PIN Code is PRAYER

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